hooked

I don't like how the opening is written in present tense, and then the paper jumps to past tense. I think if the writer was going to do that he/she needed to add a smoother transition. The only vivid descriptions I can picture is of the bike. He/she should of added more detail about the scenery such as the colors. I would of also liked to hear more about his/her emotion as they discovered the pond. The first sentence in the third paragraph does not make sense to me. I feel as if i was in a broken time machine. It would of been an interesting detail for the writer to include the look or texture of the worms and such he used as bait. I don't know what bait sounds like when it hits the water, so the writer adding the "kirplunk" was nice, but comparing the sound to something else would of been a good reference. The writer just describes the fish as the biggest fish hes ever caught but that tells me nothing about the length or width of the fish.
I feel this essay was an average one. The story lacked detail and I could not picture the scenes. Also I think the writer jumped around in his thoughts and transitions were needed. This story is probably important to the writer but unfortunately it is written poorly.